Mother's Day Unwrapped: A Gift Guide with a Twist
Mother’s Day is less than 10 days away and many of us are asking – or are asked - some version of this question: what do you really want for Mother’s Day?
A glance at my e-mail Inbox and Instagram feed yields gift guides galore for “every type of mom” that are “guaranteed to make her day.” But the most memorable gifts I’ve received during my 18 years as a parent were not gift-wrapped…
When my kids were little, I craved a free pass to skip the bed and bath routine. One wonderful Mother’s Day included a group of moms meeting for drinks and dinner, leaving our kids in the capable hands of their fathers. Another unforgettable Mother's Day was the year my husband visited his own mom, Susie, who lives a 3-hour flight away, taking our kids with him to surprise her. It was a double Mother’s Day delight because my mother-in-law and I both got exactly what we wanted: for me, a quiet house and relaxing weekend, and for her, rare and precious time with her son and two grandchildren.
Now that my kids are teenagers and soon to leave home, what I want most is obligation-free, uninterrupted time with them. I don’t want to force-march them on a family hike, or to be presented with hurriedly purchased gifts and greeting cards with awkward declarations of love.
But that’s just me. Or is it? In search of answers, I asked several smart women what they really want for Mother’s Day.
Read on for honest and helpful tips for mothers and the people who love them, including a genius gift idea for grandkids! I’ll put my Mother’s Day wish for this year in the Comments - if you’re a mom, leave a note telling me what you want most this Mother’s Day, too.❤️
If you’re a mom, ask for what you want. The more specific, the better.
“We get two days a year that are all about us, our birthdays and Mother’s Day, so I am a big proponent of being extremely clear about what you want from the day.”
Says Caroline Chambers, the mom of three boys, aged 5, 3, and 18 months. Caro’s a professional recipe developer and cookbook author; her extremely useful, very popular (and fun!) newsletter, What To Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking, delivers flavor-filled, fast, easy recipes and meal plans.
The best Mother’s Day gifts are experiences, not things…
Alisha Ramos, a multi-talented media entrepreneur and author of Downtime, which might just be the coziest newsletter on the internet, is celebrating her very first Mother’s Day…
“The gift I'd love (and that I've asked my husband for) is just a simple brunch out with him, myself, and our daughter. I've also asked that he and I block one hour over the weekend to fill in our baby book together while having a glass of wine. That's it! I've actually asked for *no* material gifts this year, just some quality time together.”
A therapist and mom of three (aged 6, 15, and 18) whose oldest child will leave home for college this fall is craving closeness:
“What I want for Mother's Day is for my children and husband to spend the entire day right by my side, contained in deep family togetherness.”
Holly, the mother of three grown children who has nine grandchildren aged 6 – 20, says:
“I would love a gift of a shared experience with my daughters and grandkids, perhaps lunch, a museum, a show, a salon visit, etc. Or I would love to be introduced to the “latest” trend, fad, gizmo, etc. that the younger generation know about and I don’t. Something to keep me current. I’d list a few but I don’t know what they are.🤣”
…but be sure to follow Caro Chambers’ advice and ask the mom in your life what she wants, because, as this Brooklyn-based mother of two warns:
“Don’t plan the whole day out without my knowledge. The Botanical Garden with a texting teen and whining preteen isn’t as fun as it sounds.”
For moms with children at home, minimal responsibilities and maximum alone time top the wish list…
“I'd love to just be able to shut off the "executive functioning" side of my brain for the day. Brunch reservations? Taken care of! Diaper bag restock? Done! Maybe I'll get a few hours in the house alone too. That's always luxurious.”
Says Aliza Sir, mom of Jude, aged 20 months, and the co-author of Platonic Love, a delightfully chatty newsletter for women navigating the transformation from “twenty-something” to “Adult with a capital A.”
Caro Chambers says:
“My perfect Mother's Day entails my husband loading the boys into the car as soon as they wake up, taking them to grab breakfast burritos or pastries, and bringing one home for me an hour (or two!) later so that I can sleep in. After spending some time with them in the morning, what I really want is a bit of alone time! I don't need a $300 spa day, I just want to be alone somewhere (at lunch, by a pool, wherever!) with a good book for a few hours.”
Claire Zulkey, the mom of 2 boys aged 9 and 11, and the writer of Evil Witches, an often funny and always illuminating newsletter for “people who happen to be mothers,” knew exactly what she wanted this Mother’s Day…
“I took my Mother’s Day present early this year: a few weeks ago I rented a small house for myself three hours away. I had been really craving some time completely alone, not talking to anyone or doing anything for someone else, and with no schedule. The real treat was going during the school week because that meant I skipped all the after school practices and games etc (shout out to my husband for his support and good parenting). I loved taking care of just me and catching up on my reading and watch list. I had really simple little single lady meals from stuff I brought from home that required very little cleanup. I came home very happy. (In the past my husband has given me gift cards to Getaway for the same vibe but more campy.)”
Finally, if the mom in your life DOES want a gift, here are some specific Dos and Don’ts crowdsourced from a very animated text chain with six moms who have 17 children between them:
Do not give JOB GIFTS. No one wants to cook, make, or plant something they didn’t pick out.
Do give a gift certificate to a lovely spa.
Do give something she previously put on a Christmas or birthday wish list.
Do not buy anything on Final Sale.
Do not take the kids on a last-minute shopping spree and return with a bag of random and meaningless gifts.😉
