The Best Life Hack Ever
I was washing my hair in the shower (where so many great ideas occur) when it hit me: of all the life improvement tricks and tips I’ve tried over the years, there’s one that’s almost always effective.
It’s so easy and successful, it may be The Best Life Hack Ever…
But first, back to the shower. There I was, rinsing coconut-scented shampoo from my hair while mentally congratulating myself on two things: having found the perfect Father’s Day gift for my husband (which the kids will “give” him, of course); and having done so more than a month in advance.
This was quite a victory because gift-buying is something I dread: the pressure to find a present that will delight the receiver results in an extended period of procrastination which usually ends with the purchase of a scented candle, a bottle of wine, or a book. Not that there’s anything wrong with those gifts (I love to receive them all!) but if I was living my best life, I would give truly unique and special gifts.
So, how did I find this perfect present so far in advance?
I used a strategy scientists believe is a key reason for human flourishing and success: I copied someone.
The inspiration for the Father’s Day gift struck as I stood on the stairway of a friend’s house, admiring a gallery wall of framed prints, posters, and photographs.
As I studied the colorful display, I remarked to my friend, “Jim would love that framed New Yorker poster!”
She smiled as she replied: “I gave it to my husband as a gift.”
“Good idea!” I said. “I’m going to get it for Jim, too.”
The Best Life Hack Ever
Copying each other comes naturally: from the moment we’re born, humans imitate the people around them.
In fact, in The Secret of Our Success, Harvard professor Dr. Joseph Henrich argues that our dominance over every other species on the planet can be attributed not to our innate intelligence, but to our collective brains - the ability of human groups to socially interconnect and learn from one another over generations.
Social Scientists believe that our propensity for imitation is a core aspect of human cognition underpinning the technological advances that characterize our species. “Cumulative culture,” where innovations are incorporated progressively into a population's stock of skills and knowledge, generating more sophisticated repertoires, relies on our proclivity for high-fidelity imitation.
The Key To Making It Work
What I realized in the shower was this: copying someone to solve a problem is the master life hack strategy from which all others flow, because what are life hacks, if not tricks and tips we learn from imitating others?
I’ve used this strategy numerous times, to great success, in many ways:
Parenting: I routinely copy strategies that have proved effective for friends with kids of similar ages;
Writing: when drafting business memos and letters, I get started by copying the words and structure of an existing document; and when I needed inspiration for a novel, I used the storyline of Four Weddings and a Funeral as a template;
Home design: when renovating our bathroom, I inventoried the fixtures at a friend’s home (she’s an accomplished decorator) and simply ordered them all;
Vacations: when someone I know raves about a trip, I ask for the itinerary and replicate it;
And then there’s Pinterest: among other things, I have “boards” for outfits, table settings, and decorating ideas; and the design of our kitchen was copied from an image found on the site.
It turns out that what I call shamelessly copying friends, social scientists have dubbed the “Copy-Paste Prompt.”
A 2020 study by University of Chicago professors, including Angela Duckworth, the author of Grit, found that copying people you know works better than reading up on random advice for a handful of reasons.
Their study was focused on instilling new exercise habits, and as study co-author Katy Milkman explains,
Seeking out exercise hacks to copy and paste led people to find tips that best fit their own lifestyles. What's more, taking a more active approach to information gathering increased the time participants spent with their role models, increasing their exposure to good habits.
Most importantly, the researchers found:
The closer people are to you, the more likely they are to have a lifestyle at least somewhat similar to yours. What works for them is therefore more likely to work for you.
This distinction is important to note, given the ubiquity of “influencers” making money from our propensity to imitate: from YouTube makeup tutorials to “Get Dressed With Me” videos on TikTok.
